At this time of year there is a huge focus on celebrating love, relationships, dating, and “successful” marriages. Since I get to celebrate my birthday in February, I get a big dose of spoiled this month. I enjoy every moment of it! Sometimes, though, when I tell my friends the latest amazing thing Garry has done for me, the response is a look of sadness. I wonder if they’re missing the kinds of things I am privileged to enjoy, but that’s seldom an appropriate question. Still it makes me think.
The other day it crossed my mind that I love Garry because he buys me coffee. Ok, not really.
It’s the fact that though he doesn’t enjoy the stuff, he goes to great lengths to get me good coffee. He goes out of his way when we’re headed to stressful meetings to make sure I have my favorite brew on the way. He takes me out for coffee sometimes, and while he may have a cup of tea or a snack, basically he is there just because I love having coffee with him. So, maybe it isn’t the coffee. Maybe it’s the way he lays his life down for me in a million small ways, in so many seasons and so many ways.
Really, I think this sacrifice is what every successful relationship is built on. It goes both ways, hopefully. It happens often. And maybe as much as either of those, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Because unnoticed acts of kindness and sacrifice are not appreciated. And every relationship has plenty of reasons for more negative emotions, so if we don’t take the time to notice the good things, the hard things can swallow us up.
Appreciating the good is not just for marriage either. It’s every relationship, including our relationship with God. It’s not whether God does good things for us, it’s whether we notice it. It’s not a question of God’s goodness, but of our perception of it. It isn’t about whether God answers prayer, but whether we notice when He does.
Experience tells me it is easy to expect and hard to appreciate. So I am practicing appreciating. And so far, it’s been a good and profitable journey!